The Dog’s diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally deficient. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have, however, arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival

Exclusively Hologram Lineup

Friday April 12 & 19

Michael Jackson – The Doors – INXS – Nirvana – Joy Division – Queen -
Dio – Patsy Cline – Frank Zappa – Rick James – Pantera – James Brown -
Johnny Cash – Elliott Smith – Ray Charles – Aaliyah – The Notorious
B.I.G. – The Cramps – Alice In Chains – Isaac Hayes – Big L

Saturday April 13 & 20

The Clash – The Ramones – Drowning Pool – G.G. Allin – T-Rex – Jimi
Hendrix – Led Zeppelin – Lynyrd Skynyrd – John Denver – Buddy Holly -
Nat ‘King’ Cole – Nico – Snot – Jay Reatard – Big Star – The Grateful
Dead – Jeff Buckley

Sunday April 14 & 21

Mozart – The Beatles – Muddy Waters – Miles Davis – The Allman
Brothers Band – Selena – Blind Melon – Ol’ Dirty Bastard – Bob Marley
& the Wailers – TLC – Tiny Tim – Janis Joplin – Captain Beefheart -
Clarence Clemons – Proof – Hank Williams – Rodney “Rappin’ Rodney”
Dangerfield – Jesus

In our opinion, the faker fakers’ names are lacking, and just beg uncomfortable questions about the actual content of the product.

Take a look below, and then vote for your least favorite name for such butter-like substances at the end of the page!

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

The original. (No way. Not butter?!)

Wow! I Totally Thought It Was “Butter”

This Great Value brand is Wal-Mart’s entry. (We think the word butter in quotation marks really sells it.)

Could it be Butter?

This butter-ish stuff from Gold-n-Soft makes us wonder a little too much about the contents of the tub.

Butter It’s Not!

Okay, what is it then, Kroger? This margarine spread treat can be found in Ralph’s, Fry’s, Food4Less, Owen’s, Dillon’s and, of course, Kroger stores.

You’d Think it’s Butter!

… but you’d be so, so wrong. This brand (HEB) is made just for Texans.

There are few things in life as cute — or as alien-loooking — as a wet kitty. See a few adorable cats and kittens who are not exactly enjoying the water during bath time.

America, according to Europeans:

US map, according to a New Yorker:

US infographic, per America in my book:

“America in My Book” by Haley Nahman

 

The USA, according to Ohio:

by taintedsilence (see a larger version here)

US map, according to the movies:

by Redditor subtonix

 

American map, according to college allegiances:

The USA, according to Twitter:

Created by Column Five, via geekosystem

If Facebook had been invented in the ’90s

“Wonders of the World Wide Web” on the topic of “The Facebook,” which is a “digital online internet computer web sightseeing” that you can open with your web site browser, a program that allows you to visit the world… on-line. Open with Netscape Navigator! (Narrated by actress Kinna McInroe.)

If Twitter had been invented in the ’80s

Someone’s loading something new and cool from their 5-1/4-inch floppy disc in the A:\ drive!

If Google had been around in the eighties

A beautiful DOS environment in true 1980s style — and the noisy modem connection is a nice plus. (Google actually were a ’90s company — they got going in 1998.)

What manner of wackiness is this? Delicious desserts served in a kitty litter pan? Yes, indeed. These cakes are especially popular for Halloween parties — but also are the cat’s meow at birthday parties and other events (especially when children are involved). Take a look below at six different interpretations of this unusual cake recipe!

>> Want to make your own? Get the Kitty Litter Cake recipe here

by Michael_Lehet

by aaron_anderer

by theotherway

by jbcurio

by philosophygeek

by Dyanna

Deliciousness from the cat box

This clever cake recipe that frightfully resembles a well-used kitty litter box is actually delicious, despite its appearance.

For the proper presentation, use a brand new (and definitely unused) plastic cat litter box and spoon it onto plates with a new (never used) pooper scooper.

>> See a gallery of Kitty Litter Cakes here!

Foodstuffs you will need:

• 1 box German chocolate or milk chocolate cake mix
• 1 box white cake mix
• 2 large packages vanilla instant pudding mix (may substitute pistachio for one box of vanilla)
• 1 large package vanilla sandwich cookies
• green food coloring
• black food coloring (if gray color is desired)
• 12 small Tootsie Roll or Milk Duds candies

You’ll also need: 

• 1 new kitty litter pan
• 1 new pooper scooper
• pan liner

1. Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions (any size pans).
2. Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble.
3. Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring (and/or, separately add black food coloring for grey crumbles) and mix until completely colored.
4. When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. Important: mix in just enough of the pudding to moisten the mixture, but don’t make it too soggy. Combine gently.
5. Line your brand new, never-used kitty litter box with baking parchment, waxed paper or a turkey baking bag. (The lining is needed because litter boxes — no surprise — are not made of food-grade plastic.)
6. Put the cake/pudding/cookie mixture into the litter box.
7. Put 3 unwrapped Tootsie rolls or Milk Duds in a microwave-safe dish and heat until they are soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with another three candies, and bury them in the mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly on top of everything (this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter) and/or your grey cookie crumbs.
8. Heat 3 more of the candies in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake, and then sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Spread the remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top. For the pièce de résistance, take one Tootsie Roll and heat until pliable, hang it over the side of the kitty litter box, and sprinkle it lightly with cookie crumbs. Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around for a truly disgusting effect.

Scaredy cats

Be warned — this cake won’t always get eaten. People (especially adults) just can’t seem to get past the appearance, no matter how good it may taste.

Kitty litter birthday cake photo thanks to keeping it real

We have created 7 images, made to exactly fit the space available on Facebook without the need for any cropping or changing. Just download your favorite(s) and upload them to your FB page!

To download one or more of these photos to your hard drive, you can either click on the small version of the image you want, then right click to save image, or you can hover over the image you want below and right click to save the link (not the image in that case, or you will end up with a very small file).

>> Find out: How do I add a Facebook timeline cover picture? 

7 colorful flower photos

Click on any of the thumbnail images here to get the larger size you need for Facebook’s timeline:

The island of Sint Maarten (aka St Martin) in the Caribbean is a popular tourist destination and stepping stone to the rest of the Leeward Islands, boasting beautiful beaches, pristine water — and one of the most insane airports known to man. With its runway apron mere feet from the popular Maho Beach, airliners — including massive 747s — coming in for a landing at Princess Juliana International Airport are so low over sunbathers’ heads that you’d think they could reach out and grab the landing gear as they flare for touchdown. (See a satellite view of this St Maarten airport approach here.)

While these 10 images may look like something cooked up in some Hollywood CGI factory, they’re the real deal — no Photoshop fakery or trickery here. These are, in fact, actual photos taken by people equally amazed by just how up close and personal you can get with the incoming planes.

And while the landings over the beach look impressive, it’s the departures that many pilots think are really hairy — the takeoffs are steep, and with a sharp turn to avoid the mountains past the runway.

Our top 10 close-enough-to-touch landings

American Airlines Boeing 757-223

by ToddonFlickr

Air France Airbus A340-313X

by Mike Roberts NYC

KLM – Royal Dutch Airlines 747

by needoptic

United Airlines Airbus A320

KLM – Royal Dutch Airlines Boeing 747‑400

by puroticorico

American Airlines Boeing 757

by puroticorico

Air France Airbus A340

by jtsarkis

Continental Boeing 757-224

by ToddonFlickr

JetBlue Airbus A320

by steve conry

KLM – Royal Dutch Airlines DC-10

by alljengi